“Instead of resisting any emotion, the best way to dispel it is to enter it fully, embrace it and see through your resistance.”

– Deepak Chopra

The truth is, most of us could probably profit from being taught how to handle our emotions more productively. There have been times almost all of us have felt so overwhelmed by our own emotion that we did or said something that we quickly came to regret.

The concept of emotional intelligence has become a ‘hot topic’ within popular discussions in the world of contemporary psychology. Perhaps the concept of emotional intelligence attracted the most attention when Time magazine asked the question “What’s your EQ?” on its cover, and stated: It’s not your IQ. It’s not even a number, but emotional intelligence may be the best predictor of success in life, redefining what it means to be smart (1).

A growing body of scientific literature proposes that moods and emotions play a central role in cognitive processes and behaviours of individuals. Moods are generalized feeling states that are not tied to the events or circumstances, and emotions are high-intensity feelings that are triggered by specific stimuli (2). Due to their intensity, emotions are more fleeting than moods, and thus, can interrupt cognitive processes and behaviours (3). The term emotional intelligence refers to the type of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor the emotions of the people around you, as well as your own, and use the information to guide your thinking and actions (4). This means that emotional intelligence relies on one’s ability to use and understand their emotions, and that of others, in order to improve their mental and physical health, as well as their interpersonal skills (2).

In his book, 1995 publication Emotional Intelligence: Why it can matter more than IQ, Daniel Goleman describes emotional intelligence as having five parts:

  1. Self-awareness: Recognizing one’s moods and emotions and their effect on others
  2. Self-regulation: Using emotional knowledge to prevent moods or emotions from causing impulsive reactions or behaviour.
  3. Internal motivation: Taking action or making decisions as a consequence of an inner drive based on optimism, curiosity, a desire to achieve, or personal ideals, rather than for instantaneous rewards such as monetary gain.
  4. Empathy: Understanding the emotions of others and using this information to reply to people based on their emotional state.
  5. Social skills: Using one’s emotional intelligence to establish strong relationships and facilitate successful emotional interactions with others.

Studies have shown that people with high levels of emotional intelligence have greater mental health, job performance, and leadership skills (5). If you do not identify as someone who is emotionally intelligent, fear not. Strengthening your emotional intelligence is possible with the support of the right therapist, and at Eliana Cohen Psychology in Toronto, we are proud to offer aid to those who wish to improve their emotional intelligence. Therapy can be helpful when a person wishes to better understand and further develop their emotional intelligence. With the appropriate therapist, an individual can become better aware of their emotional strengths and weaknesses and improve on the ability to recognize, understand, and cope with emotions. In practical terms, this means that therapy can make individuals aware of the emotions which can drive their behaviour and impact people (positively and negatively), and provide them with strategies on how to manage those emotions – both theirs and others – especially when they are under feelings or circumstances which result in high levels of stress. Individuals in therapy to improve their emotional intelligence can also improve their overall mental health, as emotional awareness leads to an improvement in mental health.

If you are interested in improving your emotional intelligence, contact Eliana Cohen Psychology to schedule an appointment today!


  1. Time. (1995, October 2). [Cover]. New York: Time Warner.
  2. Morris, W.N. Mood: The frame of mind. New York: Springer-Verlag, 1989.
  3. Simon, H.A. Comments. In M.S. Clark and S.T. Fiske (Eds), Affect and cognition. Hillsdale, NJ: Erlbaum, 1982, pp. 333–42.
  4. Salovey P, Mayer JD. Emotional intelligence. Imagination, cognition and personality. 1990 Mar;9(3):185-211.
  5. Cavazotte F, Moreno V, Hickmann M. Effects of leader intelligence, personality and emotional intelligence on transformational leadership and managerial performance. The Leadership Quarterly. 2012 Jun 30;23(3):443-55.